Death

Recently, the idea of death has really been floating through my mind. Why? Well it's quite complicated. I have a friend of my grandmother's who is dying. To my knowledge, she has Alzheimer's disease and it's really impacted her greatly. I remember when I was little, we would visit her from time to time. She was a really nice lady who would make this really nice fried rice. I remember how I would always eat 2-3 bowls of her delicious delicacy. Even though I haven't tasted her rice for 6-7 years now, the taste still lingers within my mind. I wish I still got the chance of eating her rice but she's too sick to do anything now. Who knew the last time I've ever had her rice would be the last time of my life. She would always smile when she saw me with her beautiful smile and her warm glowing eyes. I felt welcome whenever I saw her. She's a beautiful lady. 2 weeks ago, I saw her for the first time in years and that was when it hit me, how much the disease was really affecting her. She wasn't the same lady I knew years ago. I was expecting a welcoming smile feeling the same amount of warmth I've felt from the last time I saw her. However, what I encountered was a cold dead smile and eyes of no recognition or regard for who I was. She forgot who I was. The same lady would give my family fried rice and the same lady who would smile at me every time she saw me forgot me. I really miss the old days where life was just so much better and everyone was just so much younger. I was faced with the face of death that day. The face of a dying person. It just makes me realize how real this world really is. This really makes me fear Alzheimer's taking someone close to me. Someone that I love. I fear death.